The Wait Continues

Our adoption Home Study is almost complete. We are waiting for one more paper to be processed - that form should be completed on September 23. Aside from waiting for this final form, the Home Study process has been pretty seamless for us. We had our two required visits with our case manager; the first visit was to interview us together as a couple, including a tour of our home, and our second visit was to interview us separately. The visits were not as invasive as I had imagined them to be. It truly was just sitting down with someone and talking about our marriage, family and life up to this point - as well as your dreams for the future.

With me being able to stay home at this time I have been able to get all of the paperwork filled out and sent in fairly quickly. *Pats self on the back.* As we wait for the final paper to be completed we are currently working on our adoption profile book and our ‘Dear Expectant Parent(s)’ letter. Our profile book is what expectant parent(s) will look through as they try to narrow down who they want their child's adoptive parents to be. Expectant parent(s) will look through many profile books - that is a huge decision and a lot of pressure on us to show who we are and that we will be fit to raise their child.

The ‘Dear Expectant Parent(s)’ letter is probably the hardest letter I have ever had to write. How do you truly articulate in a letter format how grateful you are that they are even glancing at our letter? As they consider creating an adoption plan for their child or they may already have an adoption plan in place - how do I express my gratitude and admiration for the amazing gift they are giving?

One day we will meet our expectant parents. We don’t know when it will be or what the meeting will look like, but we look forward to that day. One day a mother will place her baby in our arms, entrusting us with this life, this precious gift from God. She will be counting on us to provide and love her child. That is a huge responsibility - one that we do not take lightly. It is terrifying and exciting all at the same time. One day we will be parents and in order for that to happen our expectant parents will have to make the most selfless and hardest decision of their lives. I could not imagine what that must be like, but I will be forever grateful when that day comes.

We are excitedly anticipating the next few months once our Home Study is finished. In order for our profile to be viewed by expectant parent(s) our Home Study has to be completed and approved. Once our Home Study is completed, it could be days, weeks, months or even years before we are matched with an expectant family. The unknown is exciting, terrifying and annoying all at the same time. I’m a planner - I like to know the next step four moves ahead. However, in this time I will remind myself that God is always faithful - He has gotten us this far and He will carry us the rest of the way.

So now as we complete our profile book and await the completion of our Home Study, we are now beginning to plan our nursery and purchase all that we need for the baby. Kristofer asked me to make a list of all that we need for the baby - I started to name everything off the top of my head and we both quickly got overwhelmed. I have made a list and also created a registry on Target.com mainly so I won’t have to go back and remember everything I wanted/needed. So I am sure I will slowly begin purchasing those items as we begin to create our nursery. The delivery person is going to know my name after all of my orders are delivered. It is exciting!

So as we wait and plan, we continually pray for our baby and expectant parents. We pray that God will form our baby in His image and protect our expectant mother as she experiences everything that pregnancy has to offer! It’s crazy to think that our child could already be formed and growing strong and healthy in another woman's body. We are so blessed to have the opportunity to grow our family through adoption.

We thank God that He called us to take this path. A few weeks ago I had my annual visit with my new gyn - exciting, I know. (Side note: she is willing to help me attempt to induce lactation - YAY!). Now back to my original thought - as I went to the doctor I had the privilege of peeing in a cup, that’s right be jealous. The last time I had to do that I was peeing in a cup to make sure I wasn’t pregnant before we did a uterine biopsy - not my most exciting memory. So my thoughts immediately went to the possibility of being pregnant. We have tried for 3.5 years to become pregnant - we still cling to the hope that God will perform a miracle and open my tubes allowing for natural pregnancy without fertility treatments. However, for the very first time in 3.5 years I was actually hoping I was not pregnant. Crazy huh? I know our child is out there. Our baby is in someone else's womb, growing perfectly and preparing to come home to us. If I was pregnant we would have to stop our adoption process and we would not have our baby through adoption and that thought broke my heart.

I know the road ahead will not always be easy. There will be bumps and curves and stresses along the way and it will all be worth it. In the end we will have our baby - the one that God created just for us! We can’t wait.

Thank you for your continued support, encouragement and prayers throughout this journey. We are truly blessed.